1. If I eat one more piece of Jack Link's Beef Jerky I am seriously going to vomit.
2. Yesterday would have been my 11 year anniversary to my 1st husband. WTF? I really don't even care.
3. Why the fuck did Dina Lohan decide to do a reality show? She really is as big of an idiot as I thought..
4. Why the fuck did Denise Richards decide to do a reality show? She is also a really big fucking idiot.
5. Tina cracks my ass up. Go read a bitch..she is much funnier than I am. www.bigcutebeachgirl.blogspot.com
6. Even though I have now lost 60 pounds why do I still feel bloated as ever. Oh yes, that would be the 8 pounds of beef jerky and big tub of banana pudding I ate today.
7. I should buy stock in Diet Coke. I can't get enuff.
8. Is there some reason that after 4 years of life she STILL refuses to take naps at school. Don't I pay them enough to teach her how to SLEEP...for God's sake.. I give up.
9. Yes, assholes will be assholes. The sooner I believe that..the better off I will be.
10. Jennifer my BFF is dating a 51 year old sugar daddy. I heart him, he is the best thing that ever happened to her. I need me one of thems. Yes, I do.
11. Why is "Moment of Truth" my new favorite show. That show fucking rocks. Fo' real.
12. When I start therapy what the fuck am I going to say...I think I may just sit down and loose it right in her office. I think she may tell me to leave b/c she has never seen anything as fucked up as me coming for a visit.
13. Don't ever drunk dial or text message. Bad, bad, bad shit.
14. Field parties are not for me. I do not CAMP out. Not in Tennessee in June...what the fuck was I thinking?
15. Why does my head feel like it is going to burst? Exactly how many Advil should I take? 40? Because this shit ain't going away.
16. Is my child seriously graduating preschool on Friday? Are you kidding me? That is jacked up.
17. Why does my Daddy have a refrigerator and a TV on his front porch? Seriously, I grew up thinking this shit was normal. I don't think it really is..is it?
18. Please let me wake up and this all be a bad dream...like the last 8 or 9 months...no make that a year or more..can't I just wake up now and have everything back to the way it was? I know..this is the stupiest thought EVER...but it's ok to have a dream right?
Goodnite..my bitches.
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10 comments:
1. Beef jerky makes you have puppy breath. Don't eat anymore.
5. Thanks, cause I think I'm funny too. And thanks for laughing at my jacked up weekend.
12. I cried through the first 3 sessions with head doctor, believe me, they've seen it all....love you.
Sorry. I'm still working on that time machine. Once I have it perfected and can guarantee that you won't end up as dinosaur food, I'll send you back a year. xo
I agree with #'s 3 and 4. Both of those broads are douche bags!
Like Teeners said on #12...they have seen more crazy shit than we could ever give them! Just let 'er rip if you have to! Hope things get better soon! HUGS!
Wow you really were all over the place. Get thee to therapy - stat. Will get with big cute beach girl when I have a chance. I'm sure if you love her I will too.
I was always afraid my therapist would run screaming from the room and rip her diploma up in the parking lot and burn rubber out of there forever.
She didn't.
I love the moment of truth too. I don't understand why people will go on the show & ruin their relationships being honest but lose all of the money lying about if they are a good person or not...crazy shit!
Nope, I don't think all dads have a frig & tv on the porch:)
(found you!!! :)...is that OK?)
Diet Cokes and sugar daddies rock.
Camping? Sucks. Why put yourself out in remote civilization when we've worked so damn hard to cover the world with strip-malls, Targets and McDonalds? Good luck! ;)
i have no desire to put freeze dried meat in my mouth. no thanks.
dude, camping? you? no. LOLOL. you probably had as much as i would have. and that's not much.
As soon as 'Daddy' moves a portable toilet onto the front porch, then you know it's gone too far.
Beef Jerky and Banana pudding. You're like KimmyK. Just when I think you're normal you start mentioning the weird shit you 'mericans eat.
I never took naps in kindergarten, however I did look up the teachers dress when she walked past...
Therapy? Save your money and just watch any daytime talkshow to fully realize how unfucked up your life is compared to the nutbags on TV.
It's the Diet Coke - it blows me up too. I tried not drinking it for a whole week once. The bloating pretty much stopped but I'm with you - Diet Coke is manna from the gods and worth it's weight in water retention!
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